Velo del Corazón
by Concubine99
Summary: Luke hasn't moved on, not really. Chris hasn't been happy with Katie, the heart wanting someone else, and overall, life is sometimes filled with disappointment, resentment, and only bits of subtle happiness.


**Velo del ****Corazón****  
**

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, neither Reid Oliver, nor any other characters from ATWT belong to me. The show doesn't belong to me (and by God, you know I would NEVER had ended it how it ended, even if I was my Evil Twin) nor do I make any sort of money by doing this.

**Pairings:** Reid/Luke, Chris/Luke (unreciprocated, of fucking course); Chris/Katie; canon

**Warning:** Character Death (yes…him *sobs*); angst, Luke not letting go; snappish Luke (to Chris and family); uh…bit depressing.

**Summary:** Luke hasn't moved on, not really. Chris hasn't been happy with Katie, the heart wanting someone else, and overall, life is sometimes filled with disappointment, resentment, and only bits of subtle happiness.

* * *

Chris walked into Java just as it started to pour. The first few drops had landed on his back and he shivered, the cold of the coffee shop hitting him.

Luke was there. He was reading a book, his drink next to his hand and he looked…he looked nice.

Chris's heart- no, Reid's heart, seemed to stop for a moment before it sped up, rushing blood and a warm feeling throughout Chris's body. He suddenly felt very hot.

He nearly went back outside but Luke chose that moment to look up, his gaze falling on Chris just as heavily as an anchor would have. Chris gave a small smile and a wave, feeling automatically foolish, but Luke was kind and he awarded the doctor a small polite smile in return.

Chris didn't realize he walked over until he was standing so close to Luke he could touch him. "Hi," he said.

Luke nodded his head. "Hi."

"Uh…I came for some coffee before my shift."

"That's nice."

Chris shifted onto his left foot, his gaze flickering towards the girl behind the counter. "Uh, you know, I think I'll try that caramel latté," Chris said, missing the way Luke's face contorted into a painful grimace.

Luke watched him order, watched as he stood straight and with calm confidence. His shoulders were broad, strong. They were nothing like Reid's. Reid had a strong but slender built, had long legs, a toned stomach and…

Luke looked away, blinking away the sudden tears that were collecting in the corner of his eyes. He took a deep breath; let it rest in his chest until the lack of air burned before he released it. He wouldn't do this, he wouldn't break down. Not now, not now…not now.

Chris sat across from him, a smile on his lips as he took a sip of the drink. "Oh, this is good," he mumbled.

Luke noticed the whipped cream and a little something in him died. "So what are you reading?" Chris asked.

"Uh…just some book grandmother recommended to me," Luke said, shifting in his seat and taking a bit of his drink, anything to distract him from the man sitting across from him.

"How's Katie?" Luke asked. It's been two months since he's seen Katie, seen any of the Hughes. He hasn't gone to the hospital, hasn't gone to visit anyone or been to Katie's apartment. Reid's stuff had been left at his house while he was asleep.

He had been sleeping a lot lately.

"She's good," Chris said, grinning. "We set the date for our wedding."

"Congratulations," Luke said, a small, pathetic smile tugging his lips.

Chris's bright express dimmed. "I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"

"Yes," Luke said in such matter-of-factly. His gaze didn't waver and Chris flinched, both at the confirmation and at the gaze.

"I blame you," Luke blurted out, his hands suddenly shaking. "If you- he would- if you had just listened to him!" Luke whispered furiously. "If you had just taken the test, had left him out of this! If you hadn't been so _selfish_!"

Chris recoiled at Luke's words and Luke seemed to deflate, his eyes red and his teeth gnawing at his lips.

"He was the one who tried to beat the train and I was the one who brought him here to Oakdale…but you," Luke shook his head. The tears were already forming, threatening to spill out and Chris had never seen a more heartbreaking scene. His heart constricted, threatening to kill him, hurt him. Reid's heart ached.

"How come you and Katie get your fairytale ending?" Luke asked. "I'm neither a horrid stepmother and Reid was no wicked witch. Why do you get to live while Reid had to die?"

Luke stood up, his whole figure now shaking like a leaf. "I can't sit here with you, I can't look at you and know you have Reid's heart. That you stole it from me. I just- I just can't," Luke choked out before turning and leaving.

Chris watched him leave, watched as the boy ran under the rain, sobs no doubt leaving his chest. Chris looked down at the table, at his hands, they were shaking.

He let out a rattling breath, pressing his hand against his chest. Luke's book still rested on top the wooden desk, as did his drink.

Luke couldn't even stand to be near him. Why did it hurt so much? The boy had the right to be angry, to blame him. Chris had been prepared for it.

He hadn't been prepared for how his heart ached, how it constricted with Luke's absence. He grasped the book, his fingers brushing against the spine of the book. He opened it, read the opening lying and promptly closed it.

_

* * *

12/3/10_

_Dear Reid,_

_The Neuro-wing is coming along well. It'll be done in a few months. But I want to wait until your birthday to have it officially opened. This doesn't make me a sentimental idiot, so you can stop rolling your eyes. _

_I just thought it'd be nice. _

_I saw Chris today. _

_I think I hate him, Reid. I think I hate him and I really don't know what to do. I want to be able to see him and not think about the heart that's beating inside his chest. I want to be able to go visit Katie or see any of the Hughes walking in Old Town and not turn the other way. _

_I want to be able to… I don't know._

_Reid, I just want you back. I want you here; you always knew how to make me see reason. You were good at that. Logical. Precise. _

_I think I'll go to the hospital tomorrow. I've been on top of the plans for the new wing but it's mostly been done over the phone. I should go and check it out personally. I shouldn't skip on my responsibilities._

_I have a foundation to run. I have a shipping company to run. I…_

_I miss you, Reid.

* * *

_

Chris woke up abruptly, the body pressed up against his own feeling foreign somehow. His gaze shifted towards her, taking in the curve of her hips and breasts, the way her chest moved with each breath.

She was beautiful; she was alive; she was his.

She was _wrong_.

It was as if ice ran through his veins. He shuddered, mild disgust twisting his stomach as he pulled the covers away and walked out of the room, barely bothering to tie the knot on his robe.

The living room was empty, as it should be.

Noise was absent as he sat down on the couch, automatically grabbing the pillow next to him and hugging it against his chest. He's been doing that a lot lately, he realized.

Katie always seemed bothered by it. Chris never asked her why.

They didn't speak a lot these days. Or perhaps it was simply him. Katie seemed willing. Chris simply…wasn't.

He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the couch.

He saw Luke yesterday in the hospital. The boy had simply given him a polite smile before continuing on his way. Chris had been struck immobile. Not because of Luke's smile or his presence, but at how his heart gave a familiar lurch.

It had been the same type of lurch his old heart use to do whenever he saw Katie. This new heart never seemed to constrict or lurch at the sight of Katie.

It only did so for Luke. Chris didn't know what to think about it.

Obviously Reid's heart still loved Luke, a voice pointed out inside his head. It sounded quite a bit like his brother's.

"Hey," a voice whispered from behind him.

Chris turned around enough to see Katie, her arms folded against her chest. She looked worried. "Couldn't sleep?"

"Just thinking," he said before turning is gaze forward. Guilt crushed his insides until he was sure he'd die from the pressure. How could he think about this, about Luke, a _man_, when he had such a beautiful woman to love?

It was the guilt of Reid's death, he rationalized. It was the guilt of Luke being left without his lover.

It was the guilt.

* * *

Lily had just gone downstairs for a cup of water. She stopped at each of her children's door, checked on them, made sure they were comfortable and not in the midst of a nightmare.

Luke wasn't asleep.

"- sell the company," Luke whispered into the night. Lily pushed the door a bit further, slowly and hoping no noise would leave the hinges. She could see Luke's figure under the covers of his bed. He was lying on his side but facing away from the door…facing the empty space on his bed. "Maybe give it to grandmother. I'm just tired of it. I have to focus on the foundation and on the wing."

He gave a small sigh. "But the wing is coming along well. I'm going to have your name placed on the entrance in your handwriting. It's a nice touch, right?"

Lily's heart broke then.

She didn't have the nerve to disturb Luke as he continued to talk to a phantom- a memory…a Reid that didn't exist anywhere else but in Luke's mind. But she stayed in front of the door, listening to Luke speak about his day, pause at certain times as if expecting an answer, until he fell asleep, his breathing coming out soft and even.

Lily didn't fall asleep that night.

* * *

_ 03/3/11_

_Dear Reid,_

_I played chess with grandmother today. She was impressed with that move you taught me. She would have loved to have met you. She would have loved you. You guys would have had this town going crazy, but I think it would have been a great friendship._

_I didn't go to work like I planned after playing chess with her. I was really tired. I slept most of the day away. _

_Noah came back from L.A to visit. He's grown a few inches, believe it or not. I missed him. I think we'll be good friends again soon. _

_Casey and Ali will be getting married tomorrow. I keep telling you that, as if you actually need me to remind you. _

_I wish you could accompany me. You had accompanied Katie to their last wedding. I think you would have liked it if you had been with me. We could have danced; you could have eaten the whole buffet. _

_I would have kissed you goodnight, and good morning. _

_God, Reid. I miss you. _

_I just miss you.

* * *

_

"Luke!" Lily called out from downstairs.

"Coming!" he called back before turning back to the letter. He folded it neatly, looked at the paper for a moment before he opened the tin box on his desk and placed it inside with all the others.

"I don't have time for this," Luke grumbled, peeved as he grabbed his jacket and made his way towards the door.

"Luke!" Lily called, distressed and her voice quivering with emotion. Luke stopped at the door, his hand on the wall next to it. "Can't we just talk about this?"

"We just want to talk, son," Holden said softly. "Please?"

"I'm not going to see a therapist," Luke snapped. "There's no reason. I'm not insane nor do I have a problem."

"It's been half a year, dear," Lucinda said softly. "We just think you might need a little help…letting go."

"This is absolutely ridiculous!" Luke nearly screamed. "I'm not drinking-"

"We know," Lily said but Luke talked over her. "I'm not smoking or doing drugs. I'm taking care of my responsibilities. I go out, I eat regularly. _I'm fine_."

"You're depressed," Holden said softly, his eyes gazing into his son's.

Luke gave a snort. "Yeah? You're the expert now, dad?"

"You sleep if you don't have plans-"

"Sleeping is good for you, I've heard!"

"You don't talk about him, but _to_ him," Lily said, her gaze a bit guilty.

"So you're spying on me, now?" Luke said, his grip on the doorknob tightening.

"You're not letting go," Lucinda said. "You're not accepting-"

"He's dead!" Luke screamed, his face red. "He's dead; he's in the pond and inside Memorial. He's not coming back! He's dead!" he gave a withering glare. "There, is that accepting enough for you?"

He didn't give them a chance to respond. He left the house, ignoring their cries to come back, their desperate calling of his name. He ignored it all.

He got into his car but his hands kept shaking. They shook so badly he could barely hold his keys.

It started to rain.

He gave up on the keys, gave up on the car. He walked out, walked into the pouring rain, not even bothering to close the door.

He simply walked around, reaching Old Town at some point, reaching Java, then Memorial. He even reached Katie's apartment complex. He didn't go see her.

He kept walking. He passed the park Reid and him had visited on one of their outings. They had played chess. Reid had told him more about his parents. They had held hands while they walked the path.

They had kissed under the oak tree.

Luke sat down underneath it, the branches protecting him from a bit of the rain.

He was still cold, though. And he was crying. He had tried pretending that it had been the rain. It hadn't been.

His heart was beating slowly, sluggishly. His head hurt, his feet did as well. His whole body _ached_. Reid would have known what to do to make the pain go away.

Reid- Luke missed him.

He wasn't quite sure when he fell asleep, only that he did, cold and feeling so utterly empty.

* * *

Chris visited Luke whenever the younger blond was asleep in his hospital room. The pneumonia had cleared up nicely and Luke would be discharged soon, but only if he took it easy. Chris wasn't sure how he felt about Luke leaving.

He had spent nearly every day since Luke's admittance at the hospital. Katie had asked him why he didn't take a break. Did he have a touch case?

Chris had said yes. He had lied to her. He hadn't done that since the incident with his heart.

Luke was awake when he entered the room despite the fact that his eyes had been closed. "Chris," Luke said softly.

"Luke," Chris said. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. He hadn't expected to actually talk to Luke. They hadn't talked since that day in Java. That was months ago.

"How you feeling?"

"My chest still hurts a bit," Luke said honestly. Chris liked how honest Luke always was.

"You had a bad case of pneumonia," Chris said, unnecessarily. "It happens."

Luke looked away from him. "Did you need something, Chris?"

Chris's heart- no, Reid's heart, seemed to pound against Chris's ribs in sudden anger. "You were being stupid," he snapped. "What do you think you were doing, wondering around in the rain, at this temperature? It's March!"

"That's technically spring," Luke said softly.

"The temperature has been low and you were out while it was raining. You fell asleep! Don't you care about yourself?"

Luke was glaring. "Who the hell do you think you are, lecturing me?"

"Someone who cares!"

"Well, I've heard the whole lecture from everyone else and their cousin," Luke snapped. "You can skip it, thanks."

"You think Reid would want this?" Chris asked. He instantly regretted it but he didn't back down, didn't falter or show his sudden lament as Luke stiffened, his whole body suddenly shaking.

"Don't you dare assume you know anything about Reid!" Luke said loudly. "Don't you dare stand there, judging me, using him to make me feel guilty! Don't you dare, Chris Hughes!"

Chris shook his head. "Are you going to ruin your life over him?"

"My life is just fine, thank you," Luke spat, the venom making Chris recoil back slightly. "And Reid could never ruin anything of mine. Get out."

"Luke, I-"

"GET OUT!" Luke said and immediately started to cough violently. Chris was at his side but the moment his hands landed on Luke, Luke jerked away, turning almost wild. "DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T-" His coughing interrupted him.

Chris saw the drops of blood and he cursed as he pressed the button to gain the nurses' attention. Luke was still struggling away from him. "STOP IT, Luke!" Chris snapped. "Jesus, I'm trying to help you."

Luke was still coughing, blood still leaving his lips. He looked miserable, he looked mad; he looked heartbroken.

Chris's inside were cold with the knowledge that he was responsible for that look.

"You can't help me," Luke said. "You of all people…you- you just can't."

* * *

_4/18/11_

_Dear Reid,_

_Sorry it's been so long. You've probably gotten use to my frequent letters; I was sick, though. That's the only reason I haven't been writing so much. _

_I don't want my family to see the letters. _

_They want me to see a therapist, Reid. You wouldn't make me do that. You would understand. I'm not crazy. I know I'm not._

_I've dealt with you not being here- I'm not being destructive. I'm living on. I'm doing ok. _

_But I miss you.

* * *

_

_5/17/11_

_Dear Reid,_

_Katie and Chris aren't getting married. Chris, it seems, called it off. _

_Was he not happy with his fairytale ending? _

_Katie's isn't nearly as distraught as you'd expect._

_The Hughes family is confused. Everyone is confused. I guess everyone expected them to last._

_Funny how even with your heart, and his second chance, he's lost his happily ever after. He took ours…why can't he just be happy and leave it at that?_

_Jacob's getting big. You would be proud of him. _

_I wish you were here, Reid. You would know what to do. You would know what I should say to the therapist so as to make these sessions end.

* * *

_

_7/7/11_

_Dear Reid,_

_Chris kissed me. _

_I felt your heart underneath my fingers. I kissed him back. _

_But it wasn't the same. It wasn't you. _

_I feel dirty, Reid. He isn't you. He has your heart, but he isn't you._

_God, I miss you Reid.

* * *

_

Luke ignored the drops of tears that stained the ink of his words.

"How are you feeling, Luke?"

"Fine."

"Ah," the therapist said. Luke doesn't know his name. He's never bothered to remember it. "Today's the anniversary, correct?"

"Hm," Luke mumbled.

"How do you feel about that?"

"Fine."

"Just fine?"

"Just fine."

The therapist sighed. "Luke, you've been coming to see me for a few months now..."

"The only reason I'm here is because my family thinks I'm unstable."

"That's not true."

"So you know my family better than I do?"

"I'm not saying that."

"Yes, you are," Luke said. "If you're so sure they don't think I'm unstable, that means you know them better than I do."

"Did you go see Reid's grave today?" the therapist asked.

"I went to the pond."

"But did you go to the cemetery? I know you mentioned you had a space for him there."

"I don't go there," Luke said. "I go to the pond."

"Ok," the therapist said. "Did you talk to him?"

Luke shrugged.

"Is that a yes?"

"I told him about Ethan wanting to be a doctor."

"Anything else?"

"Chris told me he loved me," Luke said, his voice nonchalant and his gaze on something far away.

"Oh?" the therapist said. "I thought you-"

"After he kissed me, he ignored me for weeks, nearly two months. Then suddenly, two days ago, he tells me he loves me. I punched him."

"Why did you punch him?"

"He shouldn't have said it."

"But that's how he feels," the therapist said. "We can't help how we feel."

Luke gave a bitter laugh. "Then why is everyone giving me crap about how I feel?"

"Because you're refusing to let Reid go," Mr. Therapist said. "It's not healthy- this- this inability to move on with your life."

"I've moved on."

"No, you haven't," the therapist said with a small, patient sigh. "How do you feel about Chris?"

"I don't hate him anymore."

"Did you really hate him at any point?"

"I resented him," Luke admitted. "It's selfish but I- I would have sacrificed him for Reid. I don't want him. I want Reid. I wanted Reid."

The therapist was quiet for a long time. "Why do you think Chris said he loved you?"

"I don't know," Luke said, rolling his eyes. "Maybe he's curious about his sexuality and decided to test it with the only gay man he knows here in Oakdale. I don't know, and I don't care."

"You won't give him a chance?"

"Why should I?" Luke asked, looking almost disgusted with the idea.

"Because he has Reid's heart," the therapist said with an odd smile. Luke knew the therapist meant it as a joke but the words struck something inside Luke and it shattered. "Maybe it's Reid's heart trying to get back to you."

* * *

_9/28/11_

_Dear Reid, _

_I want to start writing. What do you think? I have this character in mind. He's real handsome, but abrasive, always agitated and snarky. He's going to a successful…lawyer. _

_I'm going to name him Oliver- Ollie for short. _

_No, he's nothing like you. _

… _Maybe a little._

_He's not going to die, and he's going to stay with his lover. I haven't decided if I should make the lover male or female yet._

_What do you think? I'm sure you would have read it, said it was rubbish…but read it again and encouraged me to do whatever I wanted with it._

_I'll dedicate it to you._

_-I still miss you, Doctor Oliver.

* * *

_

_12/3/11_

_Dear Reid_

_My book about Ollie is going to be published. I'll read it to you once I have the first copy. _

_I think I'll continue to write, Reid. I've forgotten how much I enjoyed it._

_Noah's back in Oakdale for a few months. He has a new boyfriend. Name's Jesse. _

_I like Jesse. Jesse is good for Noah. _

_Did I tell you that mom and dad are getting married? Yeah, I know; I can hear you saying 'again'. Yeah, again. _

_Maybe this time, it'll stick. _

_I love you, Reid._

_We would have never become unstuck.

* * *

_

Luke cleared his throat as he opened the first page of the hardcover. He looked up towards the pond. "Ok, here goes," he whispered, waited a moment before turning his gaze towards the book. Reid's Knight rested between Luke and the pond.

"Because I miss you," Luke whispered. He looked up. "That's the dedication." He smiled softly. "You're not allowed to roll your eyes at my sap, ok?"

The wind seemed to answer him because Luke gave a small nod. "Anyway, here goes. _Oliver Alexander, Ollie to those who tolerated him and vice versa, had the distasteful habit of speaking the blunt truth…when he wasn't in court..._"

* * *

_1/1/2012_

_Dear Reid,_

_I love you. I miss you. _

_I woke up today, and decided to let you know.

* * *

_

So what do you guys think? Tolerable? Heartbreaking? Not believable? Comment, plz!


End file.
